if we make it through december
I’m not going to lie, I wrote this because two days ago I saw a book with the same title (it was an anthology) and I kept thinking about it. so I decided to make a story from the title, based on how I perceived the them.
p.s. it is a letter
how are you doing, Sa? (I hope you are doing well and what does the earth look like from the sky?)
I’m doing fine, probably better than last year. I’m growing stronger this year, too strong sometimes I even questioned myself why would I cry before. well, as you used to say, c’est la vie and it is life. as I grow older, alone and without you, I started to realize why we cry when we’re sad and why we smile or laugh. it was because we’re not ready, mentally. we cry because we felt hopeless, powerless, and defeated. we cry because probably we just too tired from everything that consumed our life’s energy. all that happened because, frankly, we were weak. but that’s okay. it’ll always happen to us and it’ll always be okay. c’est la vie and believe me, you’ll pass.
today I cry a little, hehe. I know that probably you’re going to scold me but I was feeling defeated and ugh, why life is so unfair? I want to do things I like freely and be good at it without having to feel burdened. I want to live a life I’m proud of but the world doesn’t work that way, isn’t it? why is it so hard to even enjoy something without having to cry first?
I know you probably know the answer cause you’re close to Him than I’m right now. (I’m not going to argue about it)
this year’s december hasn’t happened yet so I don’t know how am I going to feel when the month started, but I hope I’ll be doing good cause I finally overcome everything and be stronger this year.
Asa, you’re the hope of mine and without you here I sometimes feel lonely (I’m sorry it can’t be helped). umm, can you promise me one thing? that if I’m doing well this year, you’re going to do the same. you don’t have to look after me every time. I, well, I’m an adult this year and I know how to take care of myself and I don’t know, probably don’t sleep late?
I agree, it’s so hard to be an adult.
I have to say yes to things I don’t like and don’t want to. but I have no choice, right? and probably this is my only way and I have to pretend I like them until I really like them and enjoy them and attached to them?
well, if two years ago we make it through december, I just know that I won’t be feeling like this cause I still have you, to this time.
p.s. probably losing you was also part of c’est la vie where I have to let you go, right?
