I know I’m not easy to love, but could you try anyway?
my friends keep telling me to find a love that gives me thrills. i said been there, done that. they keep telling me that everyone is willing to love me. i said where are they?
maybe i’m traumatized. might even be too broken inside. maybe i don’t even deserve to be loved after all this time.
but then, in the quiet moments of the night, i wonder if they’re right. if there’s someone out there who could see past the scars, the doubts, and the walls i’ve built so high. someone who could love me, not just despite my flaws, but because of them. maybe i just need to hold onto a sliver of hope, even when it feels like darkness is all i’ve known.
there are nights when i lay awake, tracing the lines of old wounds with trembling fingers, wondering if anyone could ever understand the weight of my past. the nights stretch long, and the silence grows deafening, echoing with the ghosts of lost loves and broken promises. it’s in those moments that doubt creeps in, wrapping its tendrils around my heart and whispering that i am too damaged to ever be truly loved.
yet, amidst the doubts and the fears, there lingers a flicker of longing — a yearning for connection that refuses to be extinguished. it’s a fragile ember, easily overshadowed by the shadows of past hurts, but it burns nonetheless. and so, i find myself tentatively reaching out, hoping against hope that someone will see beyond the surface, beyond the walls i’ve erected, and into the depths of my soul.
perhaps i’ve grown accustomed to the loneliness, to the solace of my own company. but deep down, there’s a part of me that craves companionship, that yearns for the warmth of another’s embrace. it’s a contradiction — a tug-of-war between self-preservation and vulnerability, between guarding my heart and daring to let someone in.
and so, i stand on the precipice of possibility, teetering between fear and desire. i know the journey won’t be easy — i’ll stumble, i’ll fall, and i’ll carry the scars of each misstep. but maybe, just maybe, there’s someone out there who’s willing to walk alongside me, to share in the joys and the sorrows, and to love me despite — and perhaps because of — all that i am.
